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DorrisWedding open back items to wear of the wedding

FOR THOSE WHO CARE TO KNOW HERES THE PAST 17 YEARS OF MY LIFE IN WORDS... MY FUCK UPS, NOTHING HELD BACK... this is part of my therapy... bare with me... sooo it's almost been 600 days since I been clean from all chemical dependencies... 17 years of my life I battled depending on one thing or another, started with cocaine right after justin was born, it was cool everyone was doing it, fuck it is what I thought then It got the best of me.. we bought our first house, chilled out a little bit when I found out I was I pregnant with Julia.. and within 2 years I was hurrying to sell it because they were about to foreclose on it due to non payment, my mortgage was $666.36 a month but let's not get into the conspiracy of numbers right now... anyways we sold it quick and rented a house, about 6 months into that we faced eviction for non payment again, battling this fucking cocaine addiction and now added the pain pills to the concockshun, flying high I thought I was on top of the world, racing to find another place to rent, credit ruined, fuck, moved in with my mother in law for a brief moment then found a apartment, still battling this devil, that lasted a few months then bam again another eviction for fucks sake, this time nev got a dui, well his 3rd before being charged with his second, hold up carrie something is wrong here, I moved in with my parents and 2 kids, nev went to jail and rehab for a brief moment, life was getting better, got another rental house, a few months later bam someone comes around with this bitch they called CRYSTAL, hey she costs more but it lasts longer and u don't need as much, holy fuck I can get a lot done in a day, zoom zoom.. then shortly later I got pregnant with porkie I chilled out and lived a somewhat normal life, had porkie they gave me a script for Percocet oooo here we fucking go again, pills, meth... wake up and get fucked up and go on with my day, taking care of 3 children, at home mom, doing my thing, but depending on something daily to get by, it got horrible I was stealing from the man that was taking care of me and my family all these years, we were partying together that's for sure but I was so far into the addiction I needed more and more, this went on for a few years, then nev lost his job with the company he was with for 15 years because they closed up shop, then we got evicted once again, moved back in with my parents, still partying my life away, this time I got another addiction I am battling, this was stealing from any store I could it became a obsession and it was very compulsive it was a daily habit, get up do some drugs and adventure to the store to get anything I can, I thought I was untouchable this went on for a while, got caught bailed out, then I found a cutty that worked for the supermarket that was giving me slips that charged another business for anything I bought I only had to give her 50$ cash, fuck yeah here's 50$ for a 900$ spending limit who wouldn't? In the meantime I'm writing bad checks, to anywhere just to provide for my family, hammie was out of work, he got a job but by then I was so far into the addiction of drugs and stealing it took over everything... December 2014, 2 days before Christmas I got caught stealing again, then bam everything hit me at once all the cases and charges caught up to me, 4 felonys in less then a year. For fucks sake carrie what are you doing? Got bailed out got a 5 year probation sentence for all my crimes, u think I woulda stopped, nahhh I decided to still get high think I was on top of the world.. was in the newspaper for fugitive of the week on fucking Easter for not appearing at my violation hearing cuz I knew I fucked up.. I ran... they got me, then I got out again... went right back to the shit I wanted to get high everyone else was.. it was everywhere around me I wasn't strong enough to beat it... I didn't want to beat it... went to see my po and ended up dipping out when I knew they were taking me I just pissed a hot urine, well now they are deeeeep looking for me I couldn't go anywhere or do anything I was a prisoner in my own home, wouldn't open windows or come out only late hours of the night, I was keeping my kids in like they were criminals fuck I don't wanna go back to jail if I do I ain't gunna see my kids and my family for a long time,,; well December 2, 2015 they came in my house and found me hiding in the basement... gods plan I'm sure, because if not I could of ended up overdosing and my children finding me dead... they took my ass back to NCP, a week later I seen the judge, he said 2-4 up state to run consecutive with a 2-4 up state, for fucks sake carrie what did u do, how are u going to do this, your kids, your family, your life, your house... well I did it, went up state January 2015 and fought my case every fucking day because that was a harsh fucking sentence for a first dirty urine violation... the judge decided to reconsider my case once I paid $6000 for a lawyer and filed a superior court appeal, then I was lost in the system they couldn't locate me, they had transferred me from muncy to Cambridge springs, for fucks sake can I just go home to my kids, in the meantime life at home for my kids became unbearable and heartbreaking, nev got heavy into drugs and him doing the whole parenting thing full time and running the house took a toll on him and I think he just said fuck it, my justin took on the responsibility of his sister and brother, my parents that lived across the street became my kids go to people all hours of the day and night... I finally got my release date and a month before I get home everything takes a turn for the worse, nev got into a altercation with Justin which led to the police and criminal case against him, my father was given custody of my kids because when I heard shit was getting bad I had a paper notarized giving my father custody until I was released from prison, high five for quick thinking there, saved my kids from the system, anyways in the meantime my children are without mom and dad what the fuck, they can't see mom cuz she's in jail and can't see dad cuz the judge says no, well January 11th 2016 came and I was released from state prison to my parents house where my kids are now living, I get home to eviction papers yet again from another house, also a house that was totally destroyed from the police executing a 5 hour search warrant when they were looking for nevin and they were watching my house for months beforehand for drug activity, well welcome home carrie you lost your family, your losing your house, u better get packing this 5 bedroom house you have 10 days, well I fucking did it, with the help of my kids and immediate family members, I got myself a great job about a month after I got home, 3 months after I got home I purchased my own car, and here I am now almost 600 days clean and sober and I feel fucking great, I felt the need to share my story so others can know and see how fucked up drugs and dependency gets you... and how it destroyed my life and my family... it's my testimony, judge me? Go ahead, I'm not for a minute denying my past I faced it full throttle, that's the person I was that's not the person I am now... I admitted my problems and my mistakes I'm doing anything and everything in my power to make the best future for my children... the devil did get the best of me and a good part of my life but that's over now and like eminem would say... IM BACK NOWWW.... BETTER THEN EVER.... thanks to whoever took the time and read my story, hope it inspires some of you... you can do this, just put your mind to it.... DorrisWedding open back items to wear of the wedding