WANNA BOMBARD UR RIBS THIS TIME AROUND OO, SO
I beg Laugh small Buh no space for U 2 Faint here.......
1. I paid 18k just to enter a zoo and you are telling me I can't go inside the lion's cage to play with the lion.. Are u okay ?? ? ?
When I was young, I was afraid of darkness, but now when I see my electricity bills, I become afraid of light..
# AbiOoooo ??
3. JS1 I want to be a DOCTOR...
SS1 I want to be a LAWYER...
10 years later... Contact me for your coconut oil, weavons, bags, shoes, cream at affordable price ?
? ? ? ? ? .
# Kikikikikkikikikiki **
4. Being single for too long is not good o.... ? ? ? Now have forgotten how to spell relassionsheep ? ? ?
5. Before you marry a fair Lady, ask for her JSS3 pictures so you can predict your future kids colour .
SAY NO TO 419.
6. My brother, before you pay her school fees, first pay her bride price just to be sure that you are not training someone else's wife.
? ? ? ? # AbiOoooooo ??
7. Happiness is when you are eating akara and thought it has finish, when you touched the nylon, u discover there's still one inside... ? ? ?
I wicked Davido 2day eh
I played his song (assurance) 20tyms 2day ? . I'm sure his mouth should be paining him by now ?
9. Wickedness is when you wish a Fat girl an Happy Birthday and you now end it with *Bigger You I Pray*
Is she not Big enough??
Abi you wan kill her ni??
10. How can a guy without passports tell you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world? Where in the world has he been to? ? ? ?
11. Being rushed by so many men is not because you are too beautiful... You can ask 9ja about cheap things..
12. An 8 years old son asks his dad:
"Whats the difference between 'Potential ' and 'reality?'
Dad turns to wife: "Would you sleep with Barack Obama for $1 million?"
Wife: "Of course, I will never waste that opportunity."
Dad turns to daughter: "Would you sleep with Brat Pitt for $1 million?"
Daughter: Yes! He is my fantasy.
Dad turns to elder son: Will you sleep with Tom Cruise for $l million?"
Eldest son: "Why not? Imagine what I would do with that money."
Dad then turns to his youngest son: "You see son, 'Potentially ' we are living with 3 millionaires BUT in 'reality ' we are living with two prostitutes and one Gay... This one kill me o... # Lolz ? ? ?
Akpors went for his heart surgery...
AKPORS: Doctor, I'm so scared, I've never done this before and I heard it has killed lots of people.
DOCTOR: You shouldn't be worried at all. (The doctor said courageously).
AKPORS: But why doctor? (Akpors asked anxiously)
DOCTOR: Because of all the surgeries that has been carried out in my hospital, it's only one person that has been recorded dead before.
AKPORS: (feeling a little bit relieved) If I may ask, how many have you done so far doc?
DOCTOR: Yours will be the second.
# Akpors fainted immediately
? ? ? ? ?
14. Yawa dey oo..
A man divorced his wife & after one week, her father died & she inherited $150 billion. The man called her & told her he's pregnant for her. ? ? ? ? ?
Please shift let me faint
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
15. Since I was born and now I am getting old, I have never seen Hausa twins... Brethren have u seen?
16. Why do Yoruba babies always cry while being breastfed? Does it mean the breast milk also contains Cameroon pepper?
? ? ? ? Hmmm... Just wondering!
17. Which detergent I go use wash new yam, it's too dirty
18. Some guys will leave a gal that sincerely love them, thinking there are many fishes in the river, only to end up catching crayfish. ?
19. Wickedness is when you go to mama put and they will tell you their kpomo is soft, only for you to buy it and find out it's like a leather belt.
20. A BOY POSTED "NA THEM DEY RUSH US" A GIRL THAT KNOWS HIM REPLIED
"WETIN U THIEF AGAIN"
? ? ? ? ? ?
? If you see what guys do to get rich, you will congratulate your boyfriend for being broke ? ? ?? ? ? ?
Once you hear a Lady
saying “my child is my everything. Just know that the baby father ran away.
#Lolz ? ? ? ?
23. You can't please Nigerian parents with your result...
Even if u get all A's..
The father will still be like "this 'A' is not clear enough, make it clearer next semester"
24. In my country, once your N1,000 note turns to N950, forget it.
It is finished!
? ? ?
Dating a Jehovah's witness is the most economical relationship ever ? ? ?
Just buy her trekking shoes and umbrella, she will love you 4ever ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
26. My boss is very nice and kind... He bought a new bike and gave me the old one, he bought a new car and gave me the old one, he constructed a new house and gave me the old one too. Yesterday he got married to a new wife and I am still waiting for his call o..... little bride
27. Just when I thought that I have seen it all, Voom! This slay queen just came out of nowhere asking one phone repairer "Uncle do you flash power bank, I want to flash my own"
Me: Yes he can even flash transformer too!
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
28. This everyday rain ehn...make e no be say another Noah don build ark and dem no invite us o.
Abeg check your area for further info biko...and pls if you see animals walking in pairs, follow them oooo, they might be heading for the ARK.
29. I have lost my appetite for the past 23hours when a pretty lady told me she hate egg because of the bones in it.
Abeg nobody should hold me..
...Okay you want to faint too? Faint here I will go and faint ma own in another place.
30. When you come home late at night and find your mum standing like this
Just call on neighbours to beg for you
31. You cannot be a nurse and be ugly... Because I cannot fear injection and still fear you.
32. Nollywood movie don tire me... How can a ghost be wearing Super Eagles Jersey?
33. I'm still wondering how deeper life men ask their wives for sex.
He will be like "sister Esther it's time for sexual ministration ?
34. Bae: Let's break up
Me: OK ? ?
Bae: Just like that?
Me: oya let's share the grace
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Which one Totori you Palz??...